The next 30 Days

So for the past several years I have gone on a journey with some amazing Godly women praying for their husbands....

And I have quit

Every. Single. Time.
 I am not proud of it. But I always want to be real.
 I have always wanted to write a prayer journal for my husband.
I have 3.
Completely. Unfinished.
 So this month. Today actually. I begin again. A fresh start. A journey of prayer.
And it must be a great journey... or it wouldn't be so difficult.
A struggle.
 In fact... this excerpt is in the very 1st chapter. She says she had a conversation with God that went something like this:
 Day 1: His Wife

"Do you see the way he is Lord?" Do you see the way you are? "Lord. Are you saying there are things you want to change in me?" Many things. Are you ready to hear them? " Well I guess so..." Tell me when you're really ready "Why me God? He is the one that needs to change" The point is not WHO needs to change. The point is who is WILLING to change "But God. This isn't fair." I never said life is fair. I said I am fair. "But I...." Someone has to be willing to start. "Do I have to pray for my husband even if he is not praying for me?" Precisely. "Oh this is going to be painful! I can't believe I am saying this.. (deep breath)... change ME Lord"

Are you?

If you do nothing else today. Watch this. let it permeate who you are if you call yourself a believer.

Wet Paint

 

my favorite poet as a teen was Lois Wyse. There was just something about her poetry that described me. I found a handful of her poems today while unpacking that I had copied. and this one..although not always.. sometimes still applies to me.

Wet Paint

In the park
I like so much
There is a bench
And over it there is a sign
Wet Paint.

          Do not sit.
          Do not touch.
          Do not disturb.

I was born under that sign.

          For there are days I cannot function in your life.
          There are times I am wet paint.

But do remember this, my love,
When I seem freshly striped:
Wet paint dries faster in the sun,
and you must learn to un-
derstand that even in the warmth of all your love
There are still times my paint is slow to dry.
So give me time, and meanwhile

         Do not sit.
         Do not touch.
         Do not disturb.

I need new paint.
I also need the sun.
          Lois Wyse

if you enjoyed this one you can get the book here

Life in a small town

Today was a local parade in my community.  Small town life. Aaron & Judah's 1st parade. It was different. Simple.

In some ways bittersweet.

5 minute Friday time

On Fridays over here a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
Your words. This shared feast.
If you have five minutes, we double dog dare you to spend it writing here

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.
OK, are you ready? The Gypsy Mama Facebook late night crew is my new muse come 10pm Thursday night, so please give me your best five minutes this week on : OPPORTUNITY 

so I am supposed to write about opportunity.

ones lost?

or ones ahead?

or ones I may never know because of choices that we have made?

I do believe everything happens for a purpose.

I just am unsure of what that may be...

but opportunity....

to minister to others? to be a blessing? to wonder?

do I seize the opportunities God places before me? or do I walk away from them? Have I lost the sense that each opportunity to teach... to listen... to share.... to to hear God's voice... or is it easier to ignore the opportunity... and just live life.

Boy there are a few heavy questions that I certainly need to figure out..huh?

STOP. 

5 minute friday

On Fridays over here a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
Your words. This shared feast.
If you have five minutes, we double dog dare you to spend it writing here

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.
OK, are you ready? The Gypsy Mama Facebook late night crew is my new muse come 10pm Thursday night, so please give me your best five minutes on their choice

                                                                         Joey

 Part of me moved back to the desert just so he could come home. He was supposed to come home with Nick... his best buddy .. and a wonderful mustang from the BLM. But during escrow on the house Nick died... and while Joey had other horses where he was there was a part of me that just needed him to come home. A dear friend had given us these 2 horses during our last visit to the desert.. and Joey became one of the 6 horses at Son Reigns Ranch.

 Well, the ranch has changed. He came home and to be honest at first I dont think he even had a clue what to think. I honestly think he expected to come *home* to the old ranch.. on the mesa. I think he remembered & was eager to see the grumpy old mare and the rest of the herd... but they were not there...

so for now as we figure out life.. we are his herd. well. us & jack. But that's another blog post since I am almost out of minutes. Welcome home Joey boy ... we love you beyond words!!!

Girlfriends

we all have a few...or don't we? 

                              
I remember an evening a long time ago when a friend from GA said I needed some.... and I did. I really didn't have any.

I grew up with a close girlfriend or two.

But after attending an all girls private catholic school... I knew that girls were not to be trusted.

so. I didn't

And as I read this amazing post about friendship this morning..... I realized I have fewer than I ever thought. at least in real life. ya know... one's with skin on.

At the Women of Faith event last year Lisa Welchel taught about this very thing. & I found myself wondering how many real & true friendships ... she said if in a lifetime you have 1 or 2 real friends you are blessed. And because we have moved from place to place some of those real & true friendships got locked inside my computer... or my cell phone... in the form of blogs, Facebook friends & text messages as those friends with skin moved away... or moved on.

& still I felt alone.

I mean how can a girl that lives in Oceanside CA feel lonely?
but I did. 
I mean, I had friends.
But I don't know if I have ever really truly ever had a best friend since grade school.
A few close friends ... yes.
for sure.
I am actually blessed to have people from each move... each duty station... that were a huge factor in my life. But sometimes I felt like I was still on the outside.


Then I moved back to the desert.
where people are together a very. long. time.
& like I mentioned sometimes it feels like standing n the outside looking in.
& obviously we all have our own lives.
& families.
& well stuff that keeps us occupied...

And I am hoping that as I figure out where I fit.... that God would give me a few friends that I can share my fears and hopes with... my joy and laughter as well as my tears... that my kids will be loved & accepted by their families... that they will love me for who I am where I am at in my walk with Christ & yet challenge me to greater things... that they will be my encourager ... my prayer partner.... my confidant.

but for me trust doesn't come easy...


so they will also have to be patient with me.

    
                               

and if you're out there... and reading this and have shared a friendship with me... THANK YOU.

our lives are so transient that it is hard.... And in a world that says "if they hurt you just move on" it's hard to keep true real time friends that last a lifetime. often we have friends for a season. I have had a lot of those. sadly for me. that is part of the why I have a hard time with trusting again.

But we have to keep reaching out.

See the truth is.. there is at least a few girls out there that feel the very same way I do... and are just waiting for a friend too... but are too scared to say it. too scared to trust... too scared to be real.

be their friend & in time God will grown those friendships.

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

 

 “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.” C.S. Lewis

 and for those of you out there reading this... that have been a friend with skin on... but we are no longer together (except through electronic media) this is for you :)